• Lesley Friedland and the FamilyKind Team

September 22, 2021 Roundup


Recent family related news included two milestones: the near passage of a bill that will raise the minimum age to marry from 14 to 16 (North Carolina) and the first same sex marriage of a sitting governor (Colorado). Other news included a personal reflection about how divorce, in and of itself, does not harm children; insights about how good communication can help couples who have different nonsexual intimacy preferences and a matrimonial attorney’s exploration of the connection between aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior.


A ‘Broken Home’ Didn’t Break Me, or My Kids Joyce Maynard, The New York Times, July 5, 2021 The author shares: “Our children were 5, 7 and 11 when we told them we were getting a divorce…There was a time when I would have blamed him for much of what went wrong, but what I’d say now is that we were both too young to even know ourselves, much less each other….What we both did was to make good lives for ourselves, true to who we were, while loving our children with our whole hearts…”


Are You in an ‘Inter-Intimate’ Relationship? Allison Hope, The New York Times, July 24, 2021 “For some couples, having different nonsexual intimacy preferences can be a strain on the relationship…Good communication, a curiosity to understand what makes your significant other tick and an active interest in meeting these needs are the formula for success in any relationship. In an inter-intimate relationship, it can be the saving grace.”


Bill Aims To Change North Carolina’s Reputation As The Place For Adults To Marry Kids The Associated Press, NPR, August 16, 2021 State lawmakers are nearing passage of a bill that would raise the minimum marriage age from 14 to 16 and limit the age difference between a 16-year-old and their spouse to four years. The bill’s proposed maximum age gap of four years partially mimics statutory rape laws that make it a serious felony for a minor to have sexual intercourse with someone who is significantly older.


Is Passive Aggressive Behavior A Response To Aggressive Behavior In Child Custody Disputes? Patricia Fersch, Forbes, September 7, 2021 The author writes: “In dealing with aggression, it is important to respond appropriately…Passive-aggressive behavior is often a response to out and out aggressive behavior and should be looked at within that lens.”


Colorado Gov. Jared Polis’ Wedding Marks 1st Same-Sex Marriage Of Sitting Governor Bente Birkeland, NPR, September 15, 2021 During Wednesday’s ceremony, the couple’s 7-year-old daughter served as the flower girl; their 9-year-old son was the ring bearer…“Kids are so modern that their responses to things are sometimes funny. Our son honestly asked us, ‘Why do people get married?’” Reis said. He said he explained the legal rights afforded to married couples and that it’s an ‘expression of the caring that you feel for one another.”

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