• Curated by Lesley Friedland and the FamilyKind Team

March 9, 2022 Roundup


Recent family related news spotlighted the insidiousness and gravity of domestic violence. In other news, a look at how understanding your partner’s “love language” may impact your relationship and even though divorce is mostly about the emotional, it is important to understand the legal aspects also.


Her Boyfriend Killed Her Baby While She Was at Work. Oklahoma Is Sending Her to Prison

Samantha Michaels, Mother Jones, February 10, 2022

Hogue was convicted under Oklahoma’s “failure to protect” law, which requires parents to shield their child from physical harm if they’re aware, or should have been aware, that another adult is abusing the child…Almost all states have similar laws or legal theories that criminalize caregivers who “enable” or “permit” a child’s injuries, even when they tried to stop the violence.


My Husband and I Don’t Speak the Same Love Language

Lisa Taddeo, The New York Times, February 11, 2022

According to Gary Chapman, a pastor and radio host in North Carolina, who published “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” in 1992, there are five love languages: Words of affirmation; quality time; receiving gifts; acts of service; and touch…Clinical psychologist Orna Guralnik, thinks even if you don’t necessarily agree with the breakdown of the love languages, “the idea that people are different cues you into the difference between you and your partner. Your partner’s difference should be something that makes you curious rather than combative.”

Divorce Is 95% Emotional and 5% Legal. What Is That 5%?

Ann Gold Buscho Ph.D., Psychology Today, February 15, 2022

In most of Dr. Buscho’s posts, she addresses the emotions and how to cope, heal, take care of yourself, and recover from a divorce but in this post she focuses on what comprises the legal 5%. Dr. Buscho suggests that we focus on processing your emotions first, and then take on the legal matters.


The Hidden Epidemic of Brain Injuries From Domestic Violence

Christa Hillstrom, The New York Times, March 1, 2022

Research shows that survivors of abuse can sustain head trauma more often than football players. But they are almost never diagnosed…But even with this heightened awareness, few connected the experiences of women who endured similar or even higher levels of bodily violence to traumatic brain injuries — not even in the shelters to which they fled…While advocates are beginning to recognize the full scope of trauma that abuse survivors are living with, little is known about how the combined presence of PTSD and traumatic brain injury might affect the brain.


Mother of Children Killed by Their Father Said She Lived in Fear

Azi Paybarah, The New York Times, March 2, 2021

A mother whose three children were shot and killed this week inside a Sacramento County church during a supervised visit with their father obtained a restraining order against him last year after telling court officials that he was violent and had threatened to kill her…Parents who cannot afford the cost of professional monitors often make arrangements with well-meaning but not professionally trained monitors, and can arrange meetings at churches or restaurants where security precautions are harder to ensure.

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